Fostering a Growth Mindset in Every Child

At RosyTalk, we believe in the power of a growth mindset, not only for children but for everyone involved in their development. A growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed with effort, learning, and persistence. This positive approach is crucial in helping children overcome challenges and achieve their full potential. In this blog post, we'll explore how you, as parents, can foster a growth mindset in your child. We'll also provide examples of common verbal feedback and how to tweak it to encourage a growth mindset.

The Power of Words

The words we use with our children significantly impact their mindset. Here are some common phrases parents often use and suggestions for how to reframe them to support a growth mindset:

Instead of Saying:	Try Saying:	Why this Works:
"You're so smart!"	You worked really hard on that!	Praising effort rather than innate ability emphasizes the value of hard work and perseverance. It helps children understand that their efforts lead to improvement and success.
"Don't worry if you can't do it right now."	"You can't do it yet, but with practice, you'll get better!"	The word *"yet"* is powerful. It conveys that ability is not fixed and that improvement is possible with time and effort. This encourages children to keep trying and not give up.

The Importance of Praising the Process

Praising the process, rather than the outcome, is a key element in fostering a growth mindset. Here’s why:

Encourages Persistence: When you praise the effort your child puts into their work, you highlight the importance of perseverance. For example, saying, "You put a lot of effort into practicing those words!" shows that the effort is valued, not just the end result.
Builds Resilience: Children who are praised for their process learn that setbacks are part of learning. They understand that challenges are opportunities to grow. Saying, "I'm proud of how you kept trying, even when it was hard," helps them see mistakes as a natural part of learning.
Enhances Problem-Solving Skills: By focusing on the process, you encourage your child to think critically and creatively about how to improve. This can be as simple as saying, "You found a new way to remember those words, great job!"

What Happens When We Praise the End Result Versus the Process

When a child's end result is praised, they may develop a fixed mindset, believing that their abilities are static and that success or failure is a measure of their innate talents. Here’s what can happen:

Fear of Failure: Children may become afraid to take on new challenges or try new things, fearing that failure will indicate a lack of ability. They might stick to tasks they know they can do well to avoid risking their "smart" label. This fear of failure can actually lead them to avoid trying new things altogether, limiting their growth and learning opportunities.
Reduced Effort: If a child believes they are naturally talented, they may not see the need to put in extra effort. They might think that if they have to work hard, it means they're not truly capable.
Stress and Anxiety: Constantly seeking approval for end results can create pressure and stress, leading to anxiety about performance. Children might worry excessively about getting things right instead of enjoying the learning process.

Modeling Making Mistakes and Self-Talk

As parents, you are your child's first and best teacher. Our behavior and attitudes towards mistakes and challenges significantly influence our children. Here's how you can model a growth mindset:

Embrace Your Own Mistakes: Share your mistakes with your child and discuss what you learned from them. For example, "I made a mistake at work today, but I learned a better way to do it next time." This shows that mistakes are a valuable part of learning.
Positive Self-Talk: Model positive self-talk when you face challenges. Instead of saying, "I can't do this," try saying, "I can't do this yet, but I can learn." Your child will learn to adopt a similar attitude.
Encourage Effort in Everyday Activities: Let your child see you putting effort into your tasks. For example, "I'm really working hard on this project, and even though it's tough, I know I'm getting better at it."

Giving Specific Feedback and Praise

Providing specific feedback and praise can make a huge difference in reinforcing a growth mindset. Here’s how to do it effectively:

Be Specific About What They Did Well: Instead of general praise, focus on specific actions or behaviors. For example, "You did a great job using complete sentences!" This helps your child understand exactly what they did well and encourages them to repeat those behaviors.
Highlight Effort and Strategy: Acknowledge the effort and strategies your child uses. For instance, "I noticed you used the picture cards to help you remember the words. That was a smart idea!" This reinforces the idea that effort and strategy are important for success.
Encourage Reflection: Ask your child to reflect on their efforts and progress. For example, "What did you do differently this time that helped?" This helps them internalize the learning process and understand the connection between effort and improvement.

Vague Feedback/Praise	Specific Feedback/Praise
"You're awesome!"	"You're putting awesome effort toward your reading!"
"Good job!"	"You did a great job cleaning up!"
"Great!"	"Great thinking; that took some brain power!"
"Well done!"	"Well done on your /s/ sound! I can see you practiced a lot!
"You're so smart!"	"You worked really hard on that!"
"That was perfect!"	"I noticed you used a lot of new words today!"

Example Scenarios

Scenario 1: Your child struggles with stuttering.

Instead of saying:
- "Don't worry, some people just stutter."
Try saying:
- "I noticed you're working really hard on your speech. Let's keep practicing the strategies we learned. You're making great progress!"

Scenario 2: Your child finds it challenging to follow multi-step directions.

Instead of saying:
- "Why can't you remember the steps?"
Try saying:
- "It's okay to take it one step at a time. Let's practice together and see how much better we can get at this."

Scenario 3: Your child makes a mess while trying to help in the kitchen.

Instead of saying:
- "You're so messy."
Try saying:
- "I see you were trying to help make dinner. Let’s clean up together and next time we can practice keeping the space tidy as we go."

Scenario 4: Your child takes a toy from a sibling.

Instead of saying:
- "Stop being naughty!"
Try saying:
- "I know you want to play with that toy. Let's find a way to take turns so everyone gets a chance to play."

Scenario 5: Your child completes a puzzle quickly.

Instead of saying:
- "You're so smart!"
Try saying:
- "You worked hard to finish that puzzle quickly. Let's try a more challenging one next time!"

Creating a Positive Environment

Creating an environment that nurtures a growth mindset involves more than just the right words. Here are some additional tips:

Encourage Curiosity: Ask open-ended questions and encourage your child to explore and ask their own questions. This fosters a love of learning and resilience in facing challenges.
Embrace Mistakes as Learning Opportunities: Help your child understand that mistakes are a natural part of learning. Share stories of how you failed before you succeeded, and discuss what you learned from your experiences.
Set Realistic Goals: Work with your child to set achievable goals and celebrate the small milestones along the way. This builds confidence and motivation to keep going.

Conclusion

Fostering a growth mindset in your child's life can have a profound impact on their confidence, resilience, and overall success. By focusing on effort, persistence, and the learning process, you can help your child develop a positive attitude towards challenges and a lifelong love of learning.

At RosyTalk, we're here to support you and your child every step of the way. If you have any questions or need personalized guidance, don't hesitate to reach out. Together, we can create a nurturing environment where your child feels empowered to grow and thrive.

Download Growth Mindset Feedback Handout